Let's fast forward fifteen or so months later. Taking Emily anywhere today is like watching a tornado unfold before my very eyes. Her public scenes usually cause me to break out in a sweat, my cheeks turning pink just knowing that everyone else in the place is categorizing me as "the parent who can't keep their bratty child under control." I've witnessed the eye rolls-you know who you are. ;)
Well, today I learned that I can monopolize on these bouts of hysterics. I was at the bank for a simple transaction when the teller kindly informed me that I was qualified to upgrade my account. "Do you have like five minutes?" She asked. I looked down at Emily in her stroller, her chubby fingers tapping away at the photos on my phone. "Sure." I said. I figured that any toddler can be tamed for five minutes as long as they are playing with the object that they are rarely allowed to lay their sticky little paws on. I will say, that five minutes in one person's mind is a lot different than the five minutes in another's. So, after WAITING for five minutes, I was then brought back to the desk where all the "important bank stuff happens." The kind woman shook my hand and greeted Emily with a "Hello princess." Ha! If she only knew.
When Emily ineviteably got bored with my cell phone she began kicking her feet as the banker was trying to convince me of a variety of different programs, in addition to the one that was supposed to take a total of five minutes to sign up for. "Do you travel frequently? We can sign you up for the travel rewards card." She urged. "No, not really." I responded with a wavering smile as I unstrapped Em's flailing legs and arms from the stroller. I figured I had two choices-leave her in there and watch her kick and scream, thus increasing my anxiety, or take her out and hope she sits patiently on my lap. What I really felt like saying is "Lady, do I look like I travel to tropical islands and relaxing destinations with this toddler who seems to have transformed from a baby to an eighteen year old overnight!" This is the exact moment that a vision of me and my husband on a white sandy beach popped into my head. I digress.
So, I took a risk and I let Emily get off my lap because after all, the girl just wants some independence. The woman proceeded to sell her programs to me and I proceeded to say "no thank you," with one eye on my antsy little monster. I think Emily was as sick of the spiel as I was because suddenly she went darting behind the ladies' desk, enamoring herself with a game of hide and go seek, hoping I would seek her. Finally, the lady looks down at Em, then up at me and says "Well, seems like she wants to go home so I'll just sign you up for the program that you came here for." I scooped up my new partner in crime, gave her a high five and went home-apparently where we belong. ;)
I have nothing against the poor woman just trying to do her job, but I have a newfound appreciation for Emily, AKA "Tornado."